


A sucker for love stories pt. 2

by notreallystraight



Series: A sucker for love stories [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Multi, and stuff, do people even read these tags, that'll be cool i guess, there's some gay stuff in here, vampire
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-11-29 19:56:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11447958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notreallystraight/pseuds/notreallystraight
Summary: Things are never as easy as they may seem, though, bringing someone back from the dead never sounded easy. Not even to a vampire and a witch.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for some reason I'm weirdly nervous to be writing this fic. it's been soooo long since I made part 1, and I kinda fear everyone's just forgotten about it. 
> 
> it's taken me this long to write it because, well, I needed some ideas, of course, and then I wanted to write the entire thing before posting anything, in case I lost interest in the storyline halfway through (which I did... multiple times). 
> 
> that means that the entire story is already written as I post this first chapter, so any ideas or whatever won't be taken into consideration, just fyi. 
> 
> anyhow, hopefully you'll like this story and it'll all make sense. 
> 
> thank you for reading!!

It aches in her gums. Her whole body feels like a new kind of tired, and being forced to be around with the girl who had a part in Lexa’s girlfriend’s death doesn’t make it one bit easier. “For a vampire who doesn’t need to breathe, you’re doing it very loudly, “ Raven says. She’s standing next to the casket, holding her hands out in front of her over Clarke’s body. Words of Latin and Greek are coming out of her mouth between insults about Lexa.

 

“For someone who’s supposed to be a good, little witch, you’re taking forever to do this spell. “ Lexa swings her legs up on a table, the loud sound of her boots hitting the raw wood makes Raven jump. “Don’t be scared, little one. “ Lexa laughs.

 

“Listen, “ Raven says and turns around. “It’s been three weeks, okay? If you’re not going to shut up and let me at least try these spells then we’re not going to get anywhere with this! “

 

“I’m beginning to think you don’t have a clue about what the hell you’re supposed to do, “ Lexa says, as she picks at a sticker on the side of the table. The room is dark and dusty. The only things in it are a table, two chairs and the thin blankets Raven and Lexa have been sleeping on – not that Lexa’s been needing hers. She’s not closed an eye for more than two seconds since Clarke’s memorial.

 

“At least I’m doing _something_! “ Raven yells, not turning away from Clarke’s body.

 

“I thought magic didn’t work on Clarke, “ Lexa says. “Since, you know, she’s Gifted? That’s pretty much the whole reason why all of this has happened. “

 

Raven sighs and grinds her teeth loudly. “I’ve told you this a billion times. It’s only Clarke’s soul that is Gifted, and now that her soul is somewhere else, and all I have here is her body, I can do spells on it. Like, for example, what I’m doing right now. “

 

Lexa straightens up a little to see over the edge of the casket. She can see the soft, black fabric of Clarke’s dress, which reaches just to her knees as she lies with her hands folded neatly on her stomach. Lexa’s not been able to look any higher than that, scared to see the pale, lifeless face and her closed eyes- _no_ , she can’t even think of it. Just picturing it brings back the horrible memories of almost four weeks ago on the abandoned parking lot. Lexa clears her throat to speak. “And what spell is it you’re doing? “ She asks, though she knows the answer.

 

“I’m making sure her body doesn’t decompose, “ Raven says.

 

Lexa tries to think of something else. She thinks about the day after Clarke’s memorial, and how she and Raven snuck into the morgue to get Clarke’s body. Lexa compelled the people working there to give her up. Clarke was carefully put into the casket of white wood, and Lexa and Raven drove far away to make sure no one tried to follow. Lexa had made sure to compel the workers to fill an empty casket for the funeral.

 

“It’s horrible, “ Lexa says, suddenly. “-to think about them all burying an empty casket somewhere. They’re all going to come to her grave, to the stone with her name on it, and pray for her, tell the empty box how much they miss her. “

 

“It’s either an empty box or her body. There’s no difference, “ Raven says, though Lexa can easily hear how much it’s bugging her to think about that. “Why do you even think about that? We’re doing these things to bring her back. Isn’t that what you want? “

 

Lexa rushes up and grabs Raven’s wrist, holding it tightly. She leans forward and, since they’re roughly the same height, she straightens her back to seem taller. “Don’t ever question my intensions with Clarke, “ Lexa says through gritted teeth.

 

Raven breaks the eye contact to look down at her aching wrist. Lexa releases her quickly after feeling her skin burn on the parts where she touched Raven. “Don’t _ever_ touch me, fangs, “ Raven says.

 

***

 

Lexa’s travelled the world before, or at least she’s tried. With every new town she’d end up in, she’d hear about mysterious killings in a pattern too similar to Anya’s, and she’d turn around to try and help control her friend. Now she leaves one town to get to the next in the search for some magical book, a spell, some herbs, not even taking half a second to look at her surroundings, listen to the music or enjoy the sight of the beautiful people around her.

 

She goes from one witch-store to another, asking for things on the never ending list Raven’s sent with her. “I’m looking for this book, “ Lexa says and points to the title on the piece of paper. She’s given up trying to pronounce the Latin names, the many sniggers and laughs she’s gotten has made her loose her temper.

 

“We don’t sell those kinds of things, “ The witch answers. Her skin is dark, though her eyes are pale, almost white. The strong contrast makes her look even more terrifying than Lexa.

 

“Oh, please don’t try to lie, “ Lexa says, rolling her eyes heavily. “I know exactly what type of witchy voodoo you sell here. I’m looking for this book, I know you have it, so give it to me. “

 

The witch laughs but her eyes remain cold. “I have owned this store for many years, and never have I _ever_ come across some useless _vampire_ trying to take something of mine! “

 

“So you _do_ have the book, fantastic! “ Lexa says and claps her hands together after stuffing the note back into a pocket in her jeans. “Now, where is it? Either you give it to me or I’ll have to search through this entire shop to find it. And I promise you; I’ll probably have to break a few things along the way. “

 

“I imagine you’re not very old, dear, “ The witch says, twisting her hand slowly by her side. “You’ve not faced the pain a powerful witch can bring you in. “

 

“Are you- wait, are you threatening me? “ Lexa says and fakes a laugh. “Oh, bad choice- “ A seething pain runs through her veins, as if she’s being cooked alive on the spot. She falls to her knees and holds her hands around her head. The pressure keeps growing and she screams in pain.

 

“Enough? “ The witch asks, her voice a strong contrast to the screams of Lexa’s.

 

“Yes! “ Lexa yells. She falls completely to the ground when the pain stops. Her skin is burning red, sweat is falling down her face and neck. She blinks a few times, waiting for her eyes to heal after the high pressure making her loose her sight for a brief moment. “Okay, fine. So you’re pretty hardcore, whatever. I’m looking for this book and, I’m sorry, but I can’t leave without it. “

 

“I _don’t_ have it, “ The witch answers and with a snap of her fingers she sends Lexa flying through the front door and out to the side of the road.

 

***

 

It’s not until Raven’s phone rings for the seventh time in the past ten minutes that she answers it. She sighs loudly at the sight of the name on the screen, having hoped this time it would be Lexa’s.

 

“Hey, “ Raven says and leans against the wooden table in the middle of the room.

 

“Raven Reyes, “ Octavia says, pronouncing every syllable of the name. “Where are you? “ Her voice breaks slightly, but she covers it up with a bad cough.

 

“I’m- I’m in Vegas. I figured someone needed to tell the rest of mine and- and Finn’s friends that- that he’s dead. “ She’s tried her hardest not to think about him and how he betrayed her and Clarke by telling the Coven where they were. He ratted them out and was the reason Clarke died.

 

“I- I’m sorry, “ Octavia says. Her harsh tone from earlier is now gone, replaced by one of sadness. “Are you alone? I mean, except for your friends. “

 

“Yes, “ Raven answers. “Listen, I’m sorry for just leaving the way I did- “

 

“The way you did? You disappeared halfway through the memorial, Raven. You didn’t even come to her funeral. People from school were there, you know, the teachers and parents of students. Everyone was there except for you. “ The anger comes back in her voice and raven can feel how she’s loosing patience, wanting to continue with the spells with every word Octavia says.

 

“Stop, “ Raven whispers. “I couldn’t- I- I just couldn’t be there. I- I was in the car with her. I was with both of them, Octavia. Why did I have to live through it just to never see them again? Just to be alone? “

 

“But you’re not alone! “ Octavia cries through the phone. “I am right here in LA, waiting for you to come back. You can’t just leave, Raven, you can’t just disappear right after our best friend dies! “

 

“I had to! “ Raven yells back, kicking the leg of the table. “Listen, Octavia, I have to go now. I- I need to get back to the others, okay? I’m sorry, but I’m just not coming back. I can’t. “

 

“Don’t hang up on- “

 

Raven throws her phone on the table, the screen’s already broken so nothing more happens. She takes the chair Lexa was sitting on earlier and throws it across the room, though the wood is heavy and it doesn’t go very far. She can feel the hopelessness surrounding her with every time she looks at the casket with Clarke in it.

 

She feels trapped in a room with no air, whispering useless spells over and over again, none of them doing anything.

 

***

 

_The birthday cards from Clarke’s thirteenth birthday are all sitting nicely on her dresser, there’re pictures of flowers, presents and other fitting things on the front of them, sweet messages on the insides. You can hear the springs inside the madras on the bed as the three girls sit on it, jumping lightly up and down as they giggle at each other’s comments and jokes._

_“I’m telling you, “ Octavia continues. “I’m going to marry the love of my life._ That’s _what my biggest dream is! “ The two others continue to laugh as they look through the magazines Clarke’s mother had bought for her the other day. Pictures of celebrities with big hair and fancy makeup cover the pages. They ignore them, only looking for new posters to plaster the walls of Clarke’s bedroom with._

_They’re beginning to run out of space, having filled almost every surface of Clarke’s room with cutouts. Her white furniture has been stained from spots of glue and markers as the girls have drawn each other, patterns, or quotes they’ve read in the magazines._

_“You’re only saying that because of that new kid, “ Raven says and cuts out a picture of a handsome guy in a fancy suit. Her long, brown hair almost gets in the way, so she ties it up in a high ponytail and struggles to get her bangs out of the way, too. She’s been growing them out for a few months now and they’re just about the length to reach behind her ears._

_“Oh, my god! Shut up! “ Octavia yells and pushes Raven over._

_“Ooh! “ Clarke shouts. “ Someone’s got a crush on the new, mysterious boy! “_

_“Can you guys be quiet? You’re the worst, I mean it. “ Octavia leans back against the header of the bed, pouting and crossing her arms across the chest. She looks down her shirt, reading the text on it upside down. ‘Don’t make me use my grounder voice’ it says and she smiles a little at it, though she doesn’t really know what a ‘grounder voice’ is._

_After a few moments of silence, the only sounds in the room are either the pink radio playing soft music and Raven and Clarke cutting out bits and pieces from the magazines, gluing some together on fancy paper._

_“Here, “ Raven says, holding up the picture she made. “You can use this for when you ask him out on a date! “ She rolls over with laughter, Clarke soon after when she’s read the note._

_‘Octavia and Lincoln – together forever and ever and ever and ever!’ it says, the words and letters stuck together with different fonts from different pages in the magazine. Octavia takes it and curls it up, throwing it on the ground by the bed._

_“I hate you two! “ She yells and kicks out at both of them before returning to the pictures she’s already cut out. “I’d also like to be a pro surfer, you know. “ That makes the two girls snigger again, though this time they try to hide it._

_“I want to be a pilot- or an astronaut, no, something else cool where I’m up high. A professional skydiver! “ She says excitedly, her bangs falling down in front of her face again._

_“You’d be a pretty good skydiver, “ Clarke says and Octavia nods in agreement. “Have you ever tried it? “_

_“No! Of course not! I’m_ way _too young. You probably have to be, like, twenty or something to even get that high in the air without a seatbelt on. “ Octavia and Clarke begin to laugh again and Octavia enjoys the feeling on not being the victim this time._

_“You’re such a baby! “ Clarke grins, gluing a picture of an island onto her paper._

_“Me? What do you want to do, then? If you’re so cool, “ Raven says. Now it’s her turn to pout and give up on her pictures for a moment._

_“I- I don’t know, “ Clarke mutters. “I just want to do_ something _, you know? I don’t want to just sit around, gluing photos of actors and actresses on a pink piece of paper all day. “ The two brunettes stop to look at her._

_“Then what do you want to do? “ Octavia asks, playing with one of her braids._

_“I- I want to do really cool stuff! Like- like write a book! Or build a house or visit every state just because it’s cool to say: ‘hey, I’ve visited every state of America. What have you been up to?’, “ She says, her big, blonde curls bouncing around her face as she jumps up and down on her bed, messing up their pictures. “I just want to live my life to the fullest, “ She says, looking at her pink paper she’s holding. That exact sentence is written right above the photo’s she’s cut out._

_“You’re crazy! “ Raven yells, getting up to jump on the bed with her, Octavia soon following._


	2. Chapter 2

It’s a sunny day, something rare at this time of the year. Lexa flinches as she rips away the curtains from the dusty window. She’s spent the night in a hotel – much to Raven’s dislike. She can feel her teeth hurting, her gums aching, and her stomach growling as she walks outside to her car. The people passing her all smell of something metallic, the blood running through their veins is loud in Lexa’s ears.

 

She turns up the radio, letting it go as loud as possible. It shuts out the sound of the engine, the honks of the traffic and everything else. The annoyance she felt from yesterday is still boiling up inside as she rethinks her next step. She still has the list of things she should try to get for Raven in her pocket.

 

Lexa feels her phone ring and gets it from an inner pocket in her jacket. “Hello? “ She says before pulling over on the side of the road. She turns off the radio and feels the buzz of the sudden silence.

 

“Lexa, “ Raven says.

 

“And good morning to you too. “

 

“Whatever, listen. Nothing’s working, okay? I’m doing everything I can and nothing’s happening. I- “ Raven stops talking. Lexa can hear her forced breath through the phone. She can hear the silence of the room Raven’s in, the creaking floorboards and the wind blowing through a broken window, whistling.

 

“I’m _sorry_? But it sounds like you’re about to tell me there’s nothing to do, like you’re giving up? “ Lexa says, trying her hardest not to clench her hand and break her phone as she speaks.

 

“I- “ Raven sighs. “I want her back as much as you do, but- nothing’s happening. It’s- she’s right here, Lexa. I woke up seeing my dead best friend in a casket, and I can’t do anything about it! “ Raven yells. Her voice breaks as she cries through the phone.

 

“You got me into this! “ Lexa hisses. “You made me believe we could bring her back, Raven. You promised! “ She yells and slams her hand on the horn of her car, the loud sound startling a few passersby.

 

“I know! I know, I’m sorry. But, Lexa, we’ve been at it for a month now. If there’s something we could do we should’ve figured it out by now. “

 

“I’m on the hunt for one of the books you wrote down for me, okay? When I get home we’ll look through all the things I’ve gotten and- and there’ll be something that’ll help. “ Lexa shuts her eyes. “Don’t give up on this, “ She says and it comes out as a whisper.

 

Raven swallows hard. Lexa can hear her tapping her fingers on the edge of something hard, probably the wooden table. “I won’t, “ She answers before hanging up.

 

***

 

“This is all you got? “ Raven says and throws her head back in frustration. She stands in front of the wooden table, which is now partly filled with the knick-knacks Lexa’s spent a couple of days finding. “This is not even half the stuff I wrote down on that list- “

 

“Yeah? “ Lexa yells, throwing the list, that’s now a ball of paper, at Raven. “Well, I had to make sure I didn’t get my ass beaten by a bunch of crazy witches along the way. Next time _you_ go and ask for a book about bringing back supernatural creatures, maybe you won’t be as popular as you think you are. “

 

“What do you think I’m supposed to do with some books filled with half-done spells, a bunch of old grass and some fucking candles? “ Raven yells, kicking the leg of the table so one of the candles falls. Lexa reaches and catches it before it lands. She places it slowly onto the table again, keeping her eyes shut. She’s been out in the sunlight all day, and though the room they’re in is dark because of the boarded up windows, her eyes are tired and her head hurts.

 

“This is what I could get, _okay_? “ Lexa says, grinding her aching teeth. “Now, just do some of the half-assed spells and leave me alone. “ Lexa turns to walk through the door, but her feet are stuck to the ground. She looks up at Raven, who’s standing with her hand flat out in front of her. “You’re witching me? “ Lexa says and almost laughs.

 

“You’re not leaving just because you’re tired, Lexa. You’re going to stay here and make sure I have the things I need, something you’re obviously horrible at. “ Raven stops the spell and lets Lexa turn around towards her.

 

“We had an agreement, “ Lexa says, sighing. “No spells, no fangs. “ She can feel the veins beneath her eyes starting to tighten, her vision grows better, but the tones of red as her eyes change color comes through. Her jaw aches as she feels her fangs push their way to the surface. “I am _way_ too tired to do this, Raven, “ Lexa says looking up at her, only seeing the red flashes of hunger in front of her.

 

Raven laughs before she, with a flick of her wrist and her fingers moving around softly, sends Lexa to the ground. “I’ve killed one of you before, “ Raven says. “Don’t tempt me to do it again. “

 

“Raven, “ Lexa says through forced breaths as she fights her way back up again, just to be forced down to the wooden floor. “You can’t kill me- “

 

“Watch me- “ Raven yells.

 

“Okay, fine! “ Lexa screams. The stink of the old wood burns in her nostrils and chest as she breathes it in. “You _can_ kill me, congratulations. Just remember that when you do, you’re going to be all alone in this, no vampire to do your dirty work, no one to keep you company when you’re crying over your dead best friend, no one. “

 

Raven lets the spell drop once again and falls back into one of the chairs. Lexa coughs heavily before getting to her feet. “Now, “ She says. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to go get something to eat, then rest, and then I’ll be back here to help you. I’ve had a shitty couple of days and I just need to not think about any of this. “

 

“How- “ Raven says, though she stops and shakes her head slowly. Her eyes are locked on the end of Clarke’s casket.

 

“ _What_? “ Lexa sighs.

 

“How can you do that? How- how can you just eat and sleep and do anything else than try to get her back? She’s right here. How can you not do _everything_ to help her? “ Raven has a look of disgust in her eyes as she stares at Lexa.

 

With the sound of something moving through air with incredible speed, Lexa stands right in front of Raven. She grabs Raven’s neck and lifts her up from her chair, forcing her to stand on her toes. “Listen, “ Lexa says, feeling the blood rush through her body. “There’s only one thing I want right now, and that is to get Clarke back. There’s nothing more important to me, than to see her breathe again, okay? But I know damn well, that if I have to spend one more minute in this shitty room with you, hungry and tired, I’ll end up ripping your head off. “ She lets go of Raven, who falls back into her chair, fighting for air. “I’ll be back in a couple of hours. “ Lexa says, leaving Raven to catch her breath alone in the dark of the cold room.

 

***

 

When Lexa comes back she finds Raven on the floor, hunched over books of spells, history, myths and other mystical things. Papers are scattered around the floor and table, herbs crushed, burned, boiled or brought back to their lush, green state, and candles are lit in every corner of the room.

 

“Looks like someone’s having fun? “ Lexa asks, shutting the door slowly, to not make any of the papers go flying off in the wind.

 

“I’ve made progress, “ Raven says, her eyes wide like a crazy person. “Okay, so, listen, “ She says, holding up a finger. “What we need to do is to get Clarke’s soul back into her body, right? But the problem is that that takes a shit ton of power, which I don’t have, and since Clarke’s soul is Gifted, then it can’t be touched by magic. So we need to find a way to make her soul not Gifted and to get me more power, “ She says. Lexa nods along, listening and understanding her words.

 

“And? “ She says, waiting for Raven to finish.

 

“And nothing. That’s all I’ve got, “ Raven says. Her eagerness of telling Lexa her progress suddenly deflates, leaving her almost collapsed on the floor.

 

“So you’re telling me you know what to do, but not _how_ to do it? “ Lexa mutters, annoyed.

 

“Just- “ Raven says, trying to breathe through the anger Lexa’s risen in her in just thirty seconds. “I might know someone who could help- “

 

“Ah ah, no. No witch-bitch Coven member is going to be involved in this- “

 

“She’s not a member of the Coven, _easy_. She’s- she’s my old history teacher. She helped me when I was younger and started showing signs of my powers, but she’s always told me not to- to go into dark magic like this, so I’m not sure how happy she’ll be about me dragging her into this. She’s strong, okay? She can help me get more power, teach me things to do whatever spell it is, “ Raven says, suddenly begging to get Lexa to be okay with this.

 

“If she tells anyone what we’re up to- “

 

“She won’t, “ Raven says. “Lexa, this might be the best chance we have of doing this. We’ve hit a brick wall. “

 

“Fine, “ Lexa says. “So where is she? “

 

Raven bites her lip, looking up to meet Lexa’s eyes again. “LA, “ She whispers, wincing when Lexa’s eyes go big and she starts grinding her teeth again.

 

It doesn’t take them long to pack up all their things. Lexa compels a few people here and there to help them get the coffin back onto their truck and cover it up. Raven puts a spell on it to make others think it’s empty, and if someone were to go near the truck they’d suddenly get other ideas and walk away again.

 

As Raven drives the car and Lexa sits next to her, trying to empty her head of the worries going back to LA fills her with, she thinks of how it must be for Raven to go back. Her friends Octavia, Lincoln, Bellamy and the others are all there. Lexa remembers the way Clarke used to talk about them, her big, warm smile on her face as she’s tell Lexa stories of her childhood.

 

“You okay? “ Raven asks suddenly, noticing Lexa’s eyes go watery.

 

“I’m fine, “ She says.

 

“Sure- “

 

“I’m fine! “ She snaps, turning away from Raven to look out through the window by her side.

 

“ _Okay_ , “ Raven says, lifting an eyebrow, but then ignoring the vampire with extreme mood swings next to her.

 

***

 

When they reach LA, Lexa compels an old couple in a house not far from the school to let them borrow their shower and kitchen. Raven stocks up on food, leaving Lexa to shower upstairs. The hot water burns her skin, but the feeling of finally being properly clean again fills her with a new kind of peace. She lets her long, curly hair fall over one shoulder and wipes the leftover eyeliner and mascara away from beneath her eyes.

 

“Your turn, “ She says to Raven, nodding her off towards the bathroom upstairs. “ _Jesus_ , “ She says, looking at the state of the kitchen Raven’s left it in. Bread, butter, apple juice, crackers and other miscellaneous things are dispersed across the small kitchen’s countertops, strangely similar to the spell books and herbs in the room they left a few days ago.

 

“Is- is there anything else we can do for you? “ The old man asks, a blank look on his face. Lexa looks up at him. He’s holding his wife’s hand and faking a smile.

 

“No, “ Lexa says, feeling something uncomfortable in the pit of her stomach. “No, thank you for all of this. I- I’m sorry for the mess my frie- _she_ made. “ Lexa turns around and puts everything back in a cupboard, the fridge or wherever else she thinks they belong, all in a matter of seconds.

 

When Raven comes back downstairs she’s wearing her old, dirty jeans and a shirt with a flower pattern on it. “What the hell is that? “ Lexa asks, looking at the shirt.

 

“I just thought I’d borrow a shirt from them, “ Raven answers.

 

“You can’t just- it’s _theirs_ , Raven. “

 

“So was their food, “ She answers, walking through the front door.

 

Lexa compels the couple to forget everything about Raven and herself before the two girls leave the house to get to the school. Raven parks the truck down the street to make sure some nosy teenager isn’t going to do something stupid. They walk to the high school, Lexa hearing the yells and laughs of the kids a couple blocks away.

 

“You look ridiculous, “ Lexa says before she pushes one of the glass doors open to the hallway.

 

“Says the vampire wearing leather, “ Raven mutters, pushing her way past Lexa to get inside. The hallway’s half empty, students either getting ready to go home or just getting out of class and on to their next one. A few people ignore Raven and Lexa and continue their conversations with others, while some students stop and stare.

 

“That’s Raven Reyes, “ One girl says, pointing slightly. Raven turns to look at her, rolling her eyes before she makes a turn down a different hallway. Lexa’s walking right behind her, suddenly remembering the extreme discomfort you get when walking through a crowd of teenagers.

 

“Isn’t that the girl who was dating Clarke Griffin before- “ The guys stops talking when Lexa grabs his wrist and presses hard on his pulse. He yells in pain and tries to push her away from him, but that only makes Lexa press harder.

 

“Lexa! “ Raven hisses, dragging her away from the kid, who now has a blue mark where Lexa touched him.

 

“Fucking crazy, “ He says, letting his friends see the mark to prove to them what she did. Lexa walks away, shaking her head and rolling her eyes as she walks after Raven.

 

“I always hated high school, “ Lexa says.

 

They walk up a couple stairs and make a left. Lexa never realized how big the school is and her legs already ache. She can feel how weak and tired her body is after spending days in a car and not eating anywhere near enough. The temptation of turning around and finding the kid who mentioned Clarke is big, though now is not the time to suddenly go crazy.

 

Lockers are lining the walls in every angle of the hallways. Lexa suddenly finds something recognizable when she turns her head, seeing the hallway she saw Clarke in for the first time ever. Her locker is the third one from where Lexa’s standing, though she didn’t need to remember that. A single photo of Clarke has been stuck to the wall above the locker. She’s wearing the school’s logo on a sweatshirt, and you can see she’s holding her arms around the necks of two other people.

 

The memories of her first time meeting Clarke at that locker floods through her. Lexa can feel the lump in her throat and the tears fighting their way down her cheeks. She remembers seeing Clarke, swearing as she dropped her drawings all over the floor. She remembers Clarke’s cool attitude, the way she hurried to clean up her mess and how she, for some reason, felt like pointing out to Lexa that her name was Clarke with an ‘e’. Lexa smiles to herself, picturing all of these things happening once again, and she catches herself wishing for a do-over.

 

“Clarke’s locker, “ Raven says, stopping next to Lexa. “We need to get to the classroom before she leaves, okay? We can go down memory lane later. “ She puts her hand briefly on Lexa’s shoulder, showing the most amount of friendliness she can manage, before continuing down the hallway.

 

***

 

When the bell rings the kids all hurry out of the classroom, spearing no looks to Raven and Lexa. Raven peaks inside, checking to make sure it’s empty, before walking in with her hand in her jacket’s pockets. “Oh, my- “ The woman behind the desk says, looking surprised when she notices Raven.

 

“I’m sorry for just coming here like this, “ Raven says. Lexa’s baffled by her tone. She’s gotten so used to the hostile way Raven usually speaks, this soft and respectful one comes as a shock. Lexa stands in the doorway for a moment, lingering on the teacher in front of her. Her skin is dark, darker than Raven’s, her hair is short and black. She’s wearing loose clothes in different shades of brown and red, little bits of leather here and there in her bracelets, belt and other details.

 

“Raven Reyes, “ The woman says and nods. “It’s so nice to see you again. “ She walks to hug her, Raven meeting her in the middle.

 

Lexa coughs loudly, waiting to be introduced. “Oh, “ Raven says, having clearly forgotten all about Lexa for a moment. “This is Lexa. She’s, uh- “

 

“A vampire, “ The woman says. “I’m Indra. It’s nice to meet you. “ She shakes Lexa’s hand, enjoying the confusion on Lexa’s face. “Not all witches hate vampires, dear. Though, it seems that all vampires do hate witches, “ She adds when Lexa doesn’t quite show the same kind of respect.

 

“I need your help, Indra, “ Raven continues. She’s about to continue when a student comes rushing back in.

 

“Miss Indra, “ He says, shaking a piece of paper in his hand. “I really need you to sign this. Can we do it real’ quick? “ He asks.

 

Lexa turns around towards him, locking eyes with him. “Forget we were here. Turn around and leave, “ She says, waiting a second until he does as he’s told.

 

“Can you, _please_ , try not to compel my students? “ Indra says, sighing as she sits back down at her desk. “What’s wrong, dear? “ She asks Raven, returning her attention to her.

 

“Okay, so- “ Raven begins, taking a deep breath. She tells Indra everything that happened with the Coven, Clarke and everything up to where they are now.

 

“I didn’t believe the car crash story one bit either. I knew something was wrong, “ Indra says, ignoring the laugh coming from Lexa. “So what is it you need me for? “

 

“So, “ Raven continues. “As I was saying, we got Clarke’s body and I’ve been doing this spell to make sure it doesn’t decompose, you know. We’ve been at this for more than a month and we’re loosing hope- “

 

“And patience, “ Lexa adds.

 

Raven exhales deeply, ignoring Lexa. “We want to bring her back to life, but I just don’t know how. Nothing’s working and I think it’s because Clarke’s soul was Gifted- “

 

“Oh, dear, “ Indra says and leans back. “Bringing someone back to life is a horribly difficult and risky thing to do, Raven. You’ll need a lot of power, especially if Clarke’s soul was Gifted. You’ll need enough power to break through that. It’s practically impossible. “

 

“Please, miss. I- I need to do this. Clarke was one of your students. You knew her, okay? She can’t just be _gone_. Not like this, Indra, “ Raven cries.

 

“I haven’t done magic like this for years and, frankly, I’ve forgotten a lot of the spells and history that has to do with this. But- “ She adds when Raven’s about to break down. “I’ll ask around and see what I can find. I can give you the name of someone who might know something- “ She stops when Lexa’s thrown the vase from Indra’s desk across the room, leaving the glass shards to fly in every direction.

 

“This is not some treasure hunt! “ Lexa yells, taking a step towards Indra’s desk. “We’re not going to go from door to door, asking whatever name you say for help. _You_ are going to find out what we can do and help us do it. End of _fucking_ story! “ Lexa shouts.

 

The windows along the side of the classroom all slam shut from the sudden burst of wind. Indra shoots up from her seat with her arms stretched out in front of her, muttering a spell under her breath. Lexa falls to her knees, screaming in pain as the sounds of her bones cracking fills the air.

 

When Indra stops all Lexa can hear is the sound of Raven laughing. “That’s _one_ way to shut her up, “ She says, smiling down at Lexa.


	3. Chapter 3

“It’s been almost six weeks, “ Octavia says, showing no sign of emotion. Her cold attitude and dark features look like something out of a magazine.

 

“I know, “ Raven answers. She takes a sip from the coffee she ordered, nodding towards Octavia’s, wanting her to drink some as well.

 

The Nightblood Café is the ‘Group’s’ special place. It’s located a couple of streets away from school, far enough so that not a lot of the other students feel like going here. There’s heavy, wooden furniture and not a lot of options when it comes to drinks and foods.

 

“What I don’t understand, “ Octavia says, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees. “Is why you’re back after this long, and just out of nowhere you come to the school. “

 

“You called me, “ Raven says, taking another sip to occupy her mouth for a moment.

 

“Surely that didn’t make you come back just like this? “

 

“It did, actually. I thought about what you said to me on the phone, about how I’d always have you, and I found out I’d made a mistake by leaving the way I did, “ Raven tries to stay cool and talk about all of this in a normal way, but she can feel the pressure on her chest and the sweat starting to form in the palms of her hands.

 

“ _Really_? “ Octavia says, lifting an eyebrow.

 

“I think I was so… Lost, I suppose, after what happened, that I kind of forgot that you were hurt too- “

 

“I’m not _hurt_ , “ Octavia says, shaking her head. “I’m broken, ruined, devastated. I’m seeing a therapist to help me cope, but they’re just telling me to let everything out, to write shit down and to cry whenever I feel like it. “

 

“I didn’t know that- “

 

“Of course you didn’t. You haven’t been here. Everyone’s telling me all of this is normal, the hurting, the not feeling hungry, the not sleeping at night, but- “ She stops to take a breath and shake her head slowly. “They’re all telling me I’m _supposed_ to feel sad, but, Raven, I don’t feel sad. I feel miserable. Every time I think of it, of her- it’s like it drains me of- of _everything_. I don’t want to do anything because anything that I do, I feel like I’m wasting time _she_ should’ve had. Whenever I feel just a brief moment of happiness I hate myself for it, because _she_ should’ve felt that. “

 

“I know, “ Raven whispers, taking Octavia’s hand. “I’m with you in this, remember? You told me I wasn’t alone, well, neither are you. You have me, Lincoln, your brother. We’re all here for you, okay? We’re all in this shit together. “

 

Octavia laughs and leans back in her seat. “My brother’s long gone, Raven. He left, you know? He said he saw that girl, Lexa, somewhere right after it happened. She was there at the memorial; you were speaking to her, right? Well, he told her some shit before that, and I guess she said some stuff back. After the funeral and everything he just left. He told me he didn’t want to be here anymore and that he was moving in with some family up north or something, I don’t even know. “

 

“God, “ Raven says. “I haven’t even thought about how all of this must be for him. “

 

“Yeah, not a lot of people think about him. He’s the tough guy, I suppose, but he needs help, too. “

 

Raven laughs a sarcastic laugh. “Sure, good luck to whoever tries to tell him _that_. “

 

Octavia smiles for a brief second. “It’s like it’s not real, right? Any of this. A part of me is just waiting for her to walk through that door as if nothing had happened. “ Raven turns around slightly to look at the black door, a little bell hanging just above it to let the workers know of new costumers.

 

“Listen, I- “ Raven stops herself. It pains her not to say anything, she can literally feel the ache in her stomach as she struggles to keep her mouth shut.

 

“What? “ Octavia says, touching her coffee for the first time.

 

“Nothing. I just miss her, “ Raven says, looking one more time at the door before finishing her drink.

 

***

 

She’s been running for hours, and she’s getting tired. The irritation of not finding a single animal bigger than a squirrel is getting to her. Her legs ache and her head feels heavy. She’s starting to recognize the markings on the trees, as she gets deeper and deeper into the forest. The hunger she’s felt for days now is getting too much, her entire body is screaming one word over and over again, as if it has a mind of its own.

 

“No, “ Lexa whispers when she reaches the spot she didn’t know she was running towards. She stops, letting the leaves fly by her feet from the pressure of the wind she carries with her when running. The spot is still just a pile of dirt, half-hidden by leaves and twigs. Lexa can still smell the burnt grass, sticks and dirt when she walks past it.

 

She remembers that night clearly. Having spent most of the hours with Anya, drinking, partying, and suddenly seeing Raven standing in the doorway. Within seconds Raven had snapped Lexa’s neck, leaving her dead on the doorstep. When Lexa had woken up she saw Anya lying behind the couch with a stick through her chest, fighting to stay alive. Raven had left Anya on the edge of death, only to force Lexa to finish her business.

 

Lexa can feel it weighing her down. She lands on her knees in the dirt as the tears fall down her cheeks. Her sobs die out in the quiet forest. Lexa can feel the weightlessness that comes with letting it out, letting the tears flow, the cries be heard.

 

“I remember the words I told you, “ She whispers through cries. “The words we always say when we bury one of our own. “ Lexa shakes her head and bites down on her lip hard enough to let the tiniest bit of blood speckle through. “’In fire we cleanse the pain of the past’, “ She repeats them as if it was yesterday she said them.

 

“But- but how am I supposed to cleanse _all_ the pain, “ She continues. “When the one causing the pain is with me all the time? I- I feel like I can’t _breathe_ , “ She yells. “How is it fair that I have to be in the same room with _her_ , when _she_ ’s the one who did this to you, to me? “ She takes a stone and throws it towards a tree several feet away. The stone hits the tree hard enough for it make a permanent dent in it.

 

“Whenever I see her, whenever she speaks to me as if I’m supposed to understand anything she says or does, as if I’m supposed to look at her as an equal, I can feel my blood boil. “ Lexa shakes her head. “I love Clarke so much, but- I don’t know how much longer I can be in the same room as Raven when I know what she did to you. “

 

Lexa sniffles, drying the tears away from her face. “You always told me love was a dangerous thing, but you never said the love I felt for you was bad. I used to think that was a bit double-sided, but, you were you, “ She smiles. “The love I felt for you was stronger than anything, Anya. “ Lexa cries harder, mentioning her name. “I- “ She sobs. “I love you… _So_ much, but everything that I love, it only gathers dust inside of me, and I don’t know how to keep going. “

 

She can feel it, the switch. It’s right in front of her when she shuts her eyes. It’s like taking a step up a small hill, like holding your breath for a while and finally exhaling. She can almost taste, hear, see the feelings slowly shut down.

 

The sounds of sticks snapping, leaves breaking and dirt getting pushed harder to the ground comes out of nowhere. Her fangs are out and when she opens her eyes the tint of red in front of her is stronger than it’s been for years. The skin beneath her eyes twitch as the veins pop out. She looks at her wrists and sees the veins doing the same things. _That’s new_ , she thinks before setting off into a run.

 

The biker’s right in front of her on the other side of the tree she’s hiding in. She jumps down and lands in front of him. “What the- “ He manages to say before she grabs his shoulder and pulls him off the bike with one quick movement. He flies off to the ground. With the horrible sound of a scream he tries to defend himself by pushing her away, but Lexa can’t think about stopping, about running away, now.

 

She sinks her teeth into his neck. The feeling is like a rush out of a fairytale. It fills her body with tingles and warmth, feelings she hasn’t felt in decades. _More, more, more_ , she thinks as she drinks. The man’s screams and cries for help dies out as he ends on the edge of loosing consciousness. She pulls herself away from him, letting the leftover blood drip down herself.

 

“Listen, “ She says, focusing on his eyes. “Forget this happened. You went biking, it was great. You had a bad fall and now you’re going home. Keep your wound covered and let no one see it. Now, leave. “ His eyes go fuzzy for a moment before he nods and leaves on his bike. She decides not to heal him, seeing how his blood is already staining his shirt pretty bad.

 

The power that she feels with finally being full is unlike anything she could ever imagine. It’s like a drug she’s never heard of before.

 

***

 

The school’s closed, but Indra left a door open for the girls to come through. “Like taken out of a horror movie, “ Raven says as she walks the empty hallways. The lights are out. The only sounds are coming from their shoes on the floor as they walk up the stairs to Indra’s classroom.

 

“You’re late, “ Indra says and slams a pile of papers down on her desk.

 

“Yeah, _someone_ had to go off hunting, “ Raven says, rolling her eyes. Lexa smiles slyly and shakes her head. She takes a seat in one of the wooden chairs, the desk connected directly to the seat. _If just you knew what I’d been up to_ , Lexa catches herself thinking. If Raven knew Lexa had hurt a human she’d got nuts.

 

“Let us begin, then. “ Indra finds a few papers and gives them to Raven who studies them carefully. “I’ve been asking around ever since you came to see me a few days ago. Luckily for you I have many skilled friends when it comes to this type of magic, witches who’ve been studying this for decades. There are different ways of doing it, bringing someone back. They all had different methods and opinions, but one thing they were all sure of was how terrible it is- “

 

“Yeah, yeah, “ Lexa says and throws her legs up on the table. Indra waves her hand and Lexa’s legs come flying down again. She grabs the edge of the desk to make sure she doesn’t fall off the seat as well. “We’ve heard all the terrible, dangerous things this type of _dark_ magic brings. But we’re running out of patience, okay? So, whatever it is, I’m sure Raven the Teenage Witch is willing to do it. “ Lexa looks at Raven, who nods before returning her attention to Indra.

 

“Fine, “ Indra says, “there is one spell I’ve heard multiple of my friends talk about, one that have been used through centuries. It requires strength and power like nothing else. To bring someone back you’ll need to sacrifice someone else- “

 

“Raven volunteers, “ Lexa whispers.

 

“It’s up to you to decide who that should be, but remember that you’ll need the person to physically be here when you do the spell. You’ll also need to wait for the full moon, since it’ll give you more power. The last thing you’ll need is the body of the person you’re bringing back. “

 

“We already have that, “ Raven says and nods.

 

“The spell is written in those papers, “ Indra says and points at the small pile she gave Raven. “Learn it, practice it and then we’ll meet up on the night of the full moon. Also, when it comes to the sacrifice, I’d suggest going down to the station and see who deserves it, I suppose. “

 

***

 

The sun’s high in the sky, creeping its way through the thick, dark clouds. The air is cold around them, though Raven seems more bothered by that than Lexa. “Ready to kill someone? “ Raven says.

 

“We’ll pick someone who deserves it, just like Indra said, “ Lexa answers as they walk inside. She compels an officer to let them see the convicts they’ve collected overnight. Raven grabs the list of their names and what they’re in for, searching for something bad enough to be punished by death.

 

“None of these deserve it, “ She says, giving the list to Lexa, who reads through it.

 

“There’s one who tried to drive whilst drunk? “ Lexa suggest.

 

“Yeah, but it also says he didn’t even get out of the driveway before the police came. “

 

“It could’ve gotten bad. “

 

“Could’ve, would’ve, should’ve, “ She mumbles. “Ask the officer which one of these he thinks is the worst one. “

 

Lexa turns to the man who’s standing straight against the wall, his eyes spacing out into nothing. “Which one of them do you think is the worst one? “ Lexa repeats.

 

“Number 17 has been arrested for stealing an elderly man’s bag. He’s also been accused of armed robberies in other cities, though no evidence has been good enough to lock him up for good, “ The officer answers. When he’s done talking he almost seems surprised by his words.

 

“Fine, “ Raven says, walking to the door with the number ‘17’ over it. “We’ll take him. “

 

***

 

There’re four days until full moon. Raven spends every day practicing the spell on little things like dead plants and insects. Lexa’s growing tired of hearing the same consistent mumble of words she doesn’t understand, and therefor spends most of her time in the forest. They’ve decided to move into Lexa’s old cabin in the middle of the woods, wanting no attention from others what so ever.

 

Lexa tells herself the things she’s doing are all right. She’s gathering strength if something was to go wrong when Raven does the spell. Feeding off humans is the only way for her to be in complete control of herself. She only takes what she needs and always, unless it gets a little too messy, heals them. She makes them forget about her and what she did to them, and instead she leaves a different, happier memory with them.

 

She’s got it under control.

 

***

 

_The consistent sound of the knife on the chopping board seems to calm her. She’s had a long day filled with studies, and she’s brought home even more work for the night. The room is cold even though she’s already lit the fireplace, the warmth of the flames never seem to reach the kitchen’s cold, tiled floor._

_“We’ll travel somewhere nice, right? “ The girl with the long, blonde hair asks. She’s sitting on the counter even though she knows how much Lexa hates that. “Somewhere warm and quiet. No people, no mess, no noise. It’ll just be the two of us. Maybe, if possible, some distant island in the middle of nowhere? “_

_“You’re a big dreamer, Costia, “ Lexa answers and finishes the cooking. She cleans her hands in the cold water and dries them off in the towel. “How about we finish dinner, and then we can talk about living like cavemen somewhere far away? “ Lexa grins, feeling the playful mood Costia’s always in after a long day._

_“But, my dearest Alexandria, “ Costia says, grinning widely. “You know I’ll be leaving to see my father soon. If we really are going to do all the things we’ve dreamt about, we’ll need to plan it eventually. “_

_“I know, “ Lexa answers, swallowing hard. “Just- “ She rethinks her words for a moment as she sets the table. “Tell your father I said hello, but, please, be careful. I pray for him to be all right soon, but you know I don’t fancy the idea of you being near someone ill like that- “_

_“I’ll be careful, “ Costia says, locking her hands behind Lexa’s neck and kissing her softly on the cheek._

_“The curtains aren’t drawn, dear, someone could see us- “_

_“Let them, “ Costia whispers and kisses Lexa again, letting dinner get cold._


	4. Chapter 4

Clarke’s body lies like a white light in the middle of the circle made of torches Indra’s put up. Clarke’s curly, blonde hair has lost its fresh, yellowy tones, her lips aren’t vividly pink as they used to be. She lies there in her black dress on top of the grass and leaves like something out of a creepy, unreal photograph. Lexa wants to run to her, wake her up, but she can’t. The moon is already at its highest and soon the clouds will fade away and the spell will begin.

 

Raven’s sitting on her knees not far from Clarke’s body. She has the spell in front of her, as if she couldn’t already recite the whole thing backwards perfectly. The guy they chose for the sacrifice is standing not far from the two girls inside the circle. His eyes are open and he’s lightly swaying from side to side. There’s a strange sort of peace flowing through him, obvious to anyone. Lexa compelled him to think of his happiest memory and not to be scared of what’s going to happen.

 

Lexa’s standing on the sideline, ready to do whatever she’s asked. Indra’s standing not far from her, her hands folded behind her back and her chin lifted high. If it wasn’t because of Lexa’s reasonable hate for witches, she believes they could’ve been great friends at some point.

 

“I’ll stay until the spell is over, “ Indra says. “But you should know, I won’t be intervening no matter what. I’ve helped you with what I could, but I won’t upset the other witches and get mixed up in this anymore than I already have- “

 

“So if things go to shit you’re just going to run away and pretend like nothing? “ Lexa asks, her temper rising.

 

“Lexa, it’s fine, “ Raven says, looking up form the papers on the ground in front of her. “I can do this. I’m sure. “

 

“It’s time, “ Indra says after a minute or two.

 

Raven nods slowly. “I’ll bring you back, Griffin, “ She whispers to Clarke before beginning the spell. She starts off with whispering the words of the spell, feeling the sickening pain in her chest as she says them louder and louder. She can feel the power from the moon as it shines down on her, the heat from the torches surrounding her.

 

Lexa notices Raven’s nose start to bleed. She can feel the twitching pain under her eyes and in her wrists as the veins start to show, the metallic scent getting stronger and stronger as blood start to fall from Raven’s ears as well.

 

“Behave, “ Indra says, without sparing Lexa a single look.

 

Raven screams the words and suddenly the man falls to the ground. Lexa focuses on his heartbeat, but she can’t find it. He’s dead. A few tears start to fall from Raven’s cheeks to her chin as she looks at the dead body from the man and to Clarke. She continues with the spell, feeling the pain go through her body, but she doesn’t stop or hesitate for a moment. There’s no way she’s wasting another life, waiting another month for the moon.

 

She screams the words until she can’t get anymore out. She falls forward, supporting her weight on the soft grass as she coughs the thick, red blood out.

 

It feels like a million little knives going through Lexa’s chest when she hears the long, struggling breath from Clarke. She runs to her, ignoring the flames that burn her skin as she breaks through the circle.

 

“Clarke, “ She whispers, taking her hand and lifting her head to her lap. A deep crease right between her eyebrows shows the pain that is going through Clarke’s body. She doesn’t open her eyes and within a few seconds she stops moving. Lexa can’t find her heartbeat, can’t find her pulse. She feels the skin go even colder than before. “No, “ She cries. “NO! “

 

She gets up, letting Clarke’s body land on the grass again. “It didn’t work, “ Raven whispers, as if she’s trying to convince herself. “It- how didn’t it- Indra! “ She yells as a cry for help.

 

“Sometimes it doesn’t work, “ Indra says, shaking her head. “I’m sorry, but you just weren’t strong enough, I suppose. “ She’s crying, the wet tears staining her dark skin, catching the light of the flames in front of her.

 

“If you- “ Lexa begins, turning around to look at her. Her fangs are out; the veins running down her neck, under her eyes, through her wrists to her hands are all visible. The whites in her eyes have turned red. “If you’d helped her- if you’d just given her power- Clarke would be alive! “ She screams, running towards Indra.

 

“Please, “ Indra says, a forced calmness in her voice. “Calm down, Lexa. “ She holds out her hand and twists it slowly, forcing Lexa to the ground. Lexa falls onto her knees and hands, trying to fight the power of the spell.

 

Lexa gets up after Indra drops the spell. She takes one last look at Clarke’s body and shakes her head when she sees Raven crying by the blonde’s side. “It’s over, “ Lexa whispers, before running off into the forest, leaving a whoosh of wind behind her.

 

***

 

Raven marks the calendar, making a red line around the date. It’s been a week since she did the spell, since everything went wrong. She moves form the living room to the kitchen, hearing how the wood creaks beneath her feet. Every time she moves around in this cabin, she wonders how Lexa could stand the constant noise.

 

She takes the glass of water she’s been sipping all day and carries it with her to the bedroom. The curtain’s drawn, leaving the room dark except for the slight bit of light coming through the holes in the wood of the walls.

 

But even through the darkness you can easily spot the casket, standing in the middle of the room. It’s closed, Raven decided to do that a few days ago, not being able to bear the sight of Clarke any longer. Raven walks to the casket, letting her hand fall on the lid. Her fingers glide to the edge and it’s without thinking that she lifts the lid and reveals the pale skin of her best friend.

 

It’s with a loud cry she collapses to the ground, leaving the lid to fall all the way open. Raven throws the glass to the wall, listening to the shards spread across the floor. She cries hard, her back against the edge of the bed as she sobs into the dusty sheets.

 

Only when Raven’s finally gathered herself and stopped crying, she hears the loud sound of someone taking a deep breath, as if they’d been under water for too long. She doesn’t understand it at first, doesn’t register what this might mean. It takes her a couple of seconds to lift her face from the bed, to dry her eyes and to look at the girl sitting in the casket.

 

***

 

The loud music is heavy in her ears. She’s gotten used to not hearing other people’s conversations in every angle of a room. All she can hear now is the music and the sound of the girl in front of hers heartbeat and the way it gets slower and slower as Lexa drinks, reminding herself that this is what she needs to do to gather her strength, that this is what creatures like her are _supposed_ to do.

 

She releases her and smiles, letting the girl wipe the edge of Lexa’s lip clean with her thumb. “Now, “ Lexa says, making she the girl can hear her over the music. “Remember this party, remember the music, the people, everything, except for me. Forget everything about me. You never met me, never heard of me, never even saw me. Now, leave. “ Lexa smiles, enjoying the view of the girl as she walks out of the club, disappearing in the crowd of people rushing in and out.

 

Lexa turns around to the bar and gets the bottle standing on the counter. The barman quickly grabs her hand to get her to leave it. “Let me have it, “ Lexa says, keeping the eye contact. The man lets go and continues taking other people’s orders.

 

She drinks the bottle, compelling people here and there to party with her all through the night. The loud thumps of the music feel heavy in her head, but she ignores every bit of pain or unhappiness that might find her through these nights. _I need this_ , she tells herself. _I lost everything. I deserve peace_.

 

***

 

It feels like a million bricks running through her head. Her arms and legs ache as she moves around. Her knees hit something hard and she looks at them. The light is too bright for her eyes to focus at first, she blinks and blinks and waits until she can see properly. Her legs are covered by a large piece of white wood.

 

“What the- “ She mumbles, feeling how dry and sore her throat feels. She tries to think back, not understanding a thing. And then it all comes back.

 

A sharp pain runs through her stomach, her hand landing on the mark of where she drove the metal through herself. She remembers the cold pavement, the sticky feeling of her blood starting to dry as she fell asleep or passed out or-

 

“No, “ She whispers, suddenly feeling the panic hitting her. She fights her way out of the odd bed she’s in, landing on the cold wood. Her legs snap and she lands on her knees. _Someone’s crying_ , she thinks and looks up.

 

Raven’s sitting with her back against the bed, tears streaming from her puffy, red eyes and down her cheeks. She’s shaking all over, her hand going crazy as she points at Clarke. “Is- is this- is it real? “ She whispers, her voice carrying no sound but air.

 

“I- I don’t know, “ Clarke answers back, wincing as she speaks. “What- how am I- Raven, what’s happening? “

 

***

 

It takes almost an hour for Raven to tell Clarke everything that’s happened in the past month and a half. Clarke keeps asking questions, wanting to know every little detail, and Raven keeps messing up the order of the story, still shocked by her best friend suddenly being alive.

 

“So- so I’m alive, “ Clarke says after a moment. “You brought me back? “ She asks for the third time.

 

“I did, “ Raven answers. “I- I thought it didn’t work, since you didn’t wake up. It’s a week ago I did the spell. I don’t understand why you’re suddenly here now. “

 

“I- I remember being in this big room. Suddenly all the light went out and it was like I somehow knew what was going on, but without really understanding it, you know? It went on forever, hours, I think. It was like I knew I had to make some sort of decision, but I just didn’t know any of the options. “

 

“You literally chose between life and death? “ Raven asks, too shocked to even care about how crazy this all sounds.

 

“I- I guess, “ Clarke mumbles. “Wait. “ She grabs Raven’s hand before suddenly getting up from the floor. She turns around, seeing the white, wooden casket with the yellow, satin fabric inside it. “Is- is this my casket? “

 

“Yeah, “ Raven says. “I- we didn’t feel like we could just carry you around, you know? It was easier if you were just in it, I guess. “

 

“ _We_? Shit, Lexa, “ Clarke gasps. She runs out of the room, ignoring her shaking legs, and looks out into the living room, turning the corner to the kitchen. Raven’s running right after her, trying to catch her breath, but the surprise of seeing Clarke all of a sudden is making it hard for her to breathe.

 

“Wait- Clarke, wait! “ Raven finally says, grabbing Clarke’s arm. “Lexa- listen, she ran away after the spell didn’t work. I have no idea where she is, okay? She didn’t take things very well, and I just decided to let her do whatever she wants. I didn’t think it worked. “

 

“I- okay, “ Clarke says. “Can I borrow your phone, then? I guess the dead aren’t allowed a cellphone in their grave. “

 

Raven laughs awkwardly, handing her phone to Clarke. “Are you calling her? “

 

“Of course. “ Clarke finds Lexa’s name under the contacts and waits for her voice. It rings for so long Clarke think it might’ve broken or gone to voicemail or something. And then, Lexa’s voice appears. Her words are slurred and she’s speaking slowly, though the words she says come out clear enough for anyone to understand.

 

“Raven? Go fuck yourself, “ She says.

 

“I- it’s me. I love you, “ Clarke says, suddenly lost of any words.

 

The muffled voices on the other end of the call stop, as if someone turned off the sound. Clarke removes the phone from her ear.

 

“She hung up, “ She says, looking from the phone to Raven.


	5. Chapter 5

Clarke turns around in bed all night, feeling the dirty, cold pillow and blanket rub against her skin, as she tries to get comfortable. The moon comes and goes, leaving the sun to shine brightly through the white, and very see-through, curtains. “You know, “ Clarke says, sitting up in bed. “Checking up on me every five minutes doesn’t help me sleep. “ Raven stands in the door, smiling down at Clarke. The obvious bags under her eyes indicate she hasn’t gotten much sleep for the last week.

 

“I can’t have you die on me again, “ Raven says and sits down on the end of the bed. “Are you hungry? “ It takes Clarke a moment to think about it, and then she feels the great pain in her stomach and a growl follows. “I’ll take that as a yes. “

 

Raven blinks a couple of times, her eyes fading away as she thinks hard about something. “What’s up? What’s wrong? “ Clarke asks, taking her hand. Raven laughs slightly, returning her eyes to Clarke.

 

“I think you should go to the living room, “ She says, being able to feel the power of something strong nearby, and with a quick run Clarke jumps out of bed and does as Raven said.

 

***

 

It feels odd standing outside of this cabin, an entire home made of the one thing that can kill Lexa. She’s never thought of it, of her home, in this way. Though, it’s always been hard to think of this place, this town, as home.

 

She knocks lightly, feeling the rough, cold surface of the creaking door. When nothing happens she opens it, pushing it the rest of the way.

 

It feels like a punch to the chest, the stomach, everywhere. The black dress is tight around her torso, falling loosely around her hips and down to her knees where it stops. It’s traditional, and would be boring on anyone else, but with the blonde hair and fair skin that follows, it looks nothing less than perfect.

 

It doesn’t even take half a second for Lexa to stand right in front of her, in front of Clarke. Slowly, she raises her hand to Clarke’s cheeks, scared she might just disappear. It’s with a delicate movement she lets the back of her hand touch Clarke’s skin. She feels what she always feels when she touches someone, the softness of the tiny, almost invisible, hairs that cover the skin, the warmth of it and the blood that moves around so quickly behind it.

 

She lets her hand fall again and breathes for the first time since walking through the front door. “Hey, “ Clarke’s voice sounds and Lexa can’t help it. She falls forwards, landing on her knees, as she exhales deeply at the sound of the one thing she’s missed the most.

 

The tears are like little waterfalls, running from Lexa’s eyes to the edge of her shirt around her neck. She almost sobs every time she reminds herself that the love of her life is standing right in front of her, breathing, living.

 

Lexa grabs Clarke’s hands, still on her knees, and holds them tight. The fear of them vanishing is too strong. There’s a strong exhale coming from Clarke, almost forming a light laugh, as Clarke drags Lexa to her feet.

 

Clarke leans forward and Lexa sees it all. The way the blonde parts her lips, shuts her eyes and the way they meet in a kiss so powerful, so overwhelming, Lexa might just pass out. She wishes she wasn’t crying so hard, she wishes she could pause everything and just stay like this until she could breathe and relax again.

 

The blonde pulls back, but not for long. She forces Lexa to let go of her hands by wrapping them around Lexa’s back. Lexa’s hands are tight around the soft curves of Clarke.

 

There’s a small knock on the side of the doorway to the bedroom as Raven comes forward. Clarke has her back to the room, so Lexa can see Raven perfectly. “It worked. I did it, “ Raven says, softly, as if just the sound of her voice would break the moment. Lexa nods and hugs Clarke tighter as an answer.

 

***

 

“At some point you’ll need to let go of my hand again, “ Clarke says. They’re sitting on the couch, waiting for Raven to come back with breakfast. The morning sun is showing all the creaks and holes in the cabin, but neither of them cares about any of that.

 

“I really thought I’d lost you, “ Lexa whispers. Clarke kisses her lightly on the lips as an answer. She does that every time Lexa says something like that, not wanting her to ever think about that again.

 

“The world might be cruel, “ Clarke says. “- but it isn’t so cruel to let you live for an eternity on your own. “

 

Lexa runs her hand through Clarke’s hair, enjoying how soft and golden it now is. “You look beautiful, “ She whispers. “What do you remember while you were- you know- “

 

“I- I don’t remember much, really. And, honestly, spending my first day back from the dead, talking _about_ my time spent being dead doesn’t sound appealing. “ Clarke grins. “All I know right now is that my entire body aches, I’m hungry, and that I just want nothing more than to sit right here with you. Forever. “

 

Lexa leans in to kiss her, parting their lips the moment Raven walks through the front door. “Oh, I suppose I now have to live through you two being annoying, little lovebirds again, right? “ She says, rolling her eyes. Though, the irritated tone of her voice doesn’t cover the smile on her lips. “Here’s food, “ She says and drops the bag on the coffee table.

 

Raven sits down in the big, lazy chair near the couch, her feet up on the table until Clarke hushes them down, saying she might be eating in the dirties part of the forest, but that she won’t be eating where Raven’s boots are staying.

 

“Oh, “ Raven says when Clarke goes to Lexa’s bedroom to get a blanket. “I brought this for you. “ She puts a black cup with a lid and a black straw on the table in front of Lexa.

 

Lexa can instantly feel the veins show beneath her eyes. She wonders how she hasn’t smelled the blood before Raven took it out, thinking she might’ve been distracted by Clarke instead.

 

“I got it from the hospital for Clarke, just in case we’d need some for whatever reason. Listen, fangs, you’ll need to get a hold of this whole blood-situation you’ve put yourself in. And, don’t worry, I’m not going to give you an ultimatum like I did the last time. This time you’re going to be fine with whatever I’m saying, because we both know it’s the best for Clarke. “

 

Lexa nods slowly, taking the cup and drinking the blood slowly, tasting the bitter, metallic in the drink.

 

“This was the least dusty, “ Clarke says and comes back and sits down on the couch again, wrapping herself in the blanket. She takes a quick look at Lexa’s cup, a crease between her brows showing before she shakes her head and continues with her breakfast, not saying a word.

 

Lexa can’t show Clarke her gratitude enough.

 

***

 

After Clarke’s devoured half the shop’s menu she leans back in the couch, feeling the sleepiness overwhelm her. “I’m sorry, Clarke, but we need to figure out what we’re going to do now, “ Raven says.

 

“It can wait. Clarke should rest- “ Lexa tries, but Raven’s determined.

 

“Every moment we spend here in this city is a risk. If anyone were to see Clarke, it- “

 

“ _I_ would have to compel them. Listen, Clarke’s tired and I can tell you are too. You should both get some rest and we’ll talk about everything later. “ Lexa gets up, but Clarke takes her hand to make her stay.

 

“Raven’s right. We need to make a plan. “ She sits up straight on the couch, folding her legs beneath herself to get more comfortable. “I know I can’t just walk around, seeing all of my friends and have you compel them all to forget, “ She continues. “But, I have one request before we leave. I want to see my mother. I never got to say goodbye and- and I don’t intend to. I had some time last night, when I couldn’t sleep, to think about her and what I should do. “

 

“What do you mean? “ Raven asks.

 

“I’m going to let her know that I’m alive- “

 

“Clarke- “ Lexa tries.

 

“No, just- listen to me. I want her to live her life, knowing I’m okay and happy. She was destroyed when my father died, and I can’t live my life, knowing she’s hurting over me too. I’ll tell her I’m okay. But, just to make sure, you’ll compel her not to tell anyone about me. We’ll make sure there’re no loopholes or anything. She won’t tell a soul that I’m still alive, okay? “ Clarke looks from one girl to the other, waiting for them to agree.

 

Raven opens her mouth as to protest, but Lexa cuts in. “Okay, “ She says, looking from Clarke to Raven, and keeping her eyes on the brunette. “It’ll be all right, “ She tells Raven, nodding.

 

***

 

They wait until the sun goes down, wanting to minimize the risk of anyone seeing Clarke as much as possible. Raven’s bought a hoodie and jeans for Clarke to wear, the black dress being a little too obvious.

 

Raven and Clarke wait outside the house in the open garage as Lexa knocks on the door, making sure Abby doesn’t have guests or anything like that.

 

“Hello- Lexa, “ She says, her brows flying up in surprise. “What- what are you doing here? Is everything all right? “

 

“Good evening, Abby, “ Lexa says. She locks eyes with Abby and does everything she’s done a million times before. “Are you alone? “

 

“Yes, “ Abby answers.

 

“Good. Now, don’t be scared, don’t freak out. Just act calm and let us in. Do you understand? “

 

“I do. “

 

“Girls, come on. “ Lexa waves for Raven and Clarke to come inside.

 

Abby moves in the doorway a little to let all three of the girls come inside. She shuts the door afterwards and looks at Clarke for the first time. Tears roll down her eyes and a big smile is on her face. Clarke had expected more screaming and fear, but since Lexa compelled Abby to relax, that’s what she’s doing.

 

Clarke can feel the tears press on as she falls into her mother’s arms, having missed them without even realizing.

 

“I love you, “ Clarke whispers.

 

“I love you, too. “ Abby cries into Clarke’s shoulder.

 

***

 

“How is this even real? “ Abby asks, putting down the mugs for the girls to have some tea. “I don’t understand anything, and I don’t understand why I’m not going crazy right now. “ The smile is still faint on her lips as she pours the steaming water in each mug, letting the girls decide what flavor they’d like.

 

“A lot of things have been happening in the past month or so, Abby, “ Raven answers, adding sugar to her tee. “The short story is: I did a spell and now Clarke’s back. “

 

“And what a wonderful thing that is, “ Abby answers, holding her daughter’s hand tight.

 

“Now, mom, as you’ve probably guessed, I can’t stay here. A girl who’s supposed to be dead can’t walk the streets, you know? So, therefor, I’m leaving to go somewhere else. I don’t know where just yet, but it’ll be very far away from here. “

 

“You’re leaving? “ Abby asks, but she already knew that this conversation was coming. She’s known from the moment Clarke walked through the door.

 

“I am. I’ll be with Lexa, “ She says, knowing that Raven would want to be in Vegas with the rest of her Coven, and Lexa wanting to be anywhere else than there. “Now, I can’t risk you accidentally telling anyone I’m alive or that you’ve seen me, so I need to make you forget some parts, okay? “

 

“Forget? What are you talking about, Clarke? “ Abby says, but before she gets to ask more questions, Lexa’s making eye contact with her, focusing on entering her mind.

 

“You won’t tell anyone about Clarke being alive. When asked about Clarke, you will answer as you have done this far, as if Clarke’s dead and as if you’re mourning her. When you’re living your life, you won’t remember this meeting, or the fact that Clarke’s alive. You’ll only remember this when you truly need it, that is in times of sorrow or times of pure happiness. Still, then you will not mention it, or her, to anyone. Do you understand? “ Lexa asks.

 

“I understand, “ Abby answers.

 

Lexa breaks the eye contact and nods at Raven, who clears her throat and sits a little forward in her seat. “Abby? “ She asks. “How’s Clarke? “

 

“Clarke? “ Abby says after a moment, looking from Raven to her daughter. “Clarke’s not with us any longer, Raven. You know this, right? I miss her so much, “ Abby says and shakes her head.

 

“Mom? “ Clarke says.

 

“Yes, dear? “ Abby asks, as if it all was normal.

 

“It worked, “ Clarke says and smiles at Lexa. “She won’t tell anyone. “


	6. Chapter 6

_‘Dear mother_

_A little too formal, I suppose, but I don’t know how else to start these letters. It’s only been a month or so since I came to visit you, but already now so much has happened. I’m writing this, knowing that I won’t be able to send it to you – we can’t have the mailman knowing of my whole getting-brought-back-to-life situation. But don’t worry; in years from now I’ll give these to you somehow. We just need this whole situation to blow over. Therefor, whenever you get these letters, it’s very important that you hide them, and doesn’t let anyone know of them, okay? Promise me that._

_Anyway, I guess it’s about now that I tell you all the things that have happened so far in my second chance at life (it sounds so lame, I’m sorry)._

_Raven has chosen to live with the Coven (and I guess you don’t know what the Coven is. Well, it’s her friends. Let’s just leave it at that). She’s trying to get a new shot at life in her own way, connecting with the people who are on the same side as her. I don’t see her very often, but we make sure to call or text almost every day – she’s promised me that._

_I wish I could tell you how amazing it is here were we, Lexa and I, live, but I can’t. If you for some reason decide to come and look for me… It’ll all just be too risky, I’m sorry. But it’s amazing here, much more incredible than I’d ever imagined_

_I’m sorry for missing your birthday last week.’_

Clarke feels Lexa’s arms wrap around her body, her warm breath in the back of her neck as she moves closer. “Don’t cry, “ Lexa whispers, kissing Clarke’s hair. “She’ll understand, okay? “ Clarke nods frantically, leaning back into the warmth of Lexa’s body. “I love you, “ Lexa says and kisses the top of Clarke’s forehead.

 

“Forever. “ Clarke smiles back, grabbing the pencil again as to continue writing.

 

_‘It’s strange to think about the fact that I was dead for over a month, and then just coming back like this, but nothing about my life is anything less than strange at the minute._

_Lexa’s been all over the country, trying to figure out more about being back from the dead. She’s hinting that I could possibly be turned into a vampire at some point, to save us both some more time, I guess. (Please, don’t freak out about Lexa being a vampire. With everything that’s happened, you should just accept that my life is like a bad episode of some shitty vampire series.) But, if I’m being honest, I’m not sure I want to be turned._

_The many things I’ve seen Lexa go through, the blood lust, the uncontrollable strength, the extreme emotions, I’m just not sure I’d be strong enough. Though, there’s nothing I want more than to be able to spend eternity with her._

_When I last saw Raven she did some spells on me to make sure I wasn’t still Gifted (again, please just ignore this), and I’m not. I’m just a normal human being (who’ve been dead and brought back, no biggie). This means that if I choose to go through the transformation of becoming a vampire, everything should be fine.’_

Clarke turns slightly in her seat to see where Lexa went. The brunette is standing over the stove, cooking dinner for Clarke as she hums along to the songs on the radio. There’s a slight smoke coming from a pan, but Clarke decides to let Lexa deal with it.

 

_‘Raven told me that before I came back, Lexa had run away. I know she did some things she’s not proud of, I can see it in her eyes when she tries to relax. It’s like a never-ending horror movie inside her head. I don’t want to ask her about it. I don’t want her to feel forced to tell me anything about it, you know?_

_I know that she drank human blood, she’s no good at hiding it from me. But, I can see that she’s trying to get back to her normal life (her normal diet, I suppose). It’s when she’s sleeping it’s the worst. I figured that since vampires have heightened emotions, they might have stronger dreams, too. Or maybe that’s just the case for Lexa. She keeps twisting and turning during the night, and when I wake up in the morning she’s already gone. I think she goes hunting, but I’m never sure for what. She seems stronger in so many ways, and I know that animal blood doesn’t really do it for her when it comes to getting strong._

_I just wish for her to be okay soon._

_Anyway, I wanted to end this off on a better note. I want you to know, mom, that I’m okay. I’m happy and healthy, and we’re learning more and more about what we should do from now on. I can’t express how thankful I am for having you in my life, and I promise you some day, years from now, I’ll see you again, okay?_

_I love you._

_CG’_

Clarke shuts her eyes, feeling a single tear fall from the tip of her eyelashes and onto the paper. She folds the letter; putting it safely into a box she’s labeled ‘ _For Abby Griffin_ ’.

 

“I know it’s hard, “ Lexa says. Clarke turns in her chair to look at Lexa, who’s standing over her, holding one of Clarke’s curls in her hand. “I love you so much, “ Clarke says, standing up to kiss her girlfriend.

 

“I’ll always be with you. “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK you for reading this! 
> 
> I honestly loved writing about these lovebirds in this supernatural-cool kind of way, and I will miss it (but many more different stories will hopeful come!)


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